I woke up early this morning just starving to ride on my Motorcycle in the "cooler" morning air. I ended up in Vicksburg and rode thru the National Battlefield Park. An incredible day all by myself to ride up and down the slops while diving into the cooler valleys and sunshine hilltops. Near the end of the battlefield drive is the cemetary. I always have to stop and pay my respects to the soliders that died there for something that they believed in. It made me look at where I am and caused me to ask myself the question "What I have I died for today?" NOT MUCH was my answer. I thought about that question a lot today and hope to keep thinking about it for a long time.
To suffer is to gain and to die is gain.

till next time.
peace
TC

Dating / Hanging Out

Guys - This One is for YOU !!

Something scares you. It’s not terrorism, economic recession, global warming, or gasoline prices that could hit 10 bucks per gallon by the time you’re done reading this. These things might worry you, but something else makes your palms sweat and your pulse hit triple digits: asking someone out on a date.

That’s because asking someone out involves potential pain. If the object of your affection becomes aware of your intentions, he or she might not reciprocate, and that’s going to hurt. I don’t care if you’re the most self-confident, well-adjusted person around; rejection hurts.OUCH !!! It makes anyremaining friendship awkward at best, humiliating at worst. Revealing romantic feelings is a risky business, RIGHT?

Many people find a way around the risk. Or at least they think they do. Instead of asking someone out on a date and being bold in their intentions, they turn to the soggy alternative to dating: “let's just hang out.”

So here's the deal: You like someone but you’re afraid to let him or her know. So instead of asking the person on a date, you go on approximations of dates that allow for softer denial of all romantic intentions. You study together. You exercise together. You find some really lame excuses to call, text, and e-mail. Worst of all, you engage in the most stupid of conversations and great abys of non-dates—going to coffee. This just has the trappings of a date dude — a cozy place with a cold glass of tea, a good atmosphere with music — while allowing everyone involved in our immediate space is actually on a date. Fear of YOU suffering rejection alone has resulted in the "Starbucks" mental;ity. It's just coffee. SURE IT IS.

People suffer through this in the hope that the object of their affection will eventually buckle and reveal his or her true feelings. They wait and watch. They keep making up excuses to hang out while waiting for God to give them a SIGN. If you’ve been down this road before, you know that it’s seldom successful. You remain stuck in the “friend zone,” which is "relationship purgatory of sorts" if you have a crush on someone.

Are We Dating or Not?
Look, I may not be the youngets guy on the block but I will put it on th eline that I know what Christian females are looking for. The biggest complaint I know of from Christian women was that Christian men weren’t assertive enough. They described men who drove them crazy by calling and hanging around while never asking them out on a real date. They said that it was exhausting trying to figure out which guys liked them versus which guys liked them. So let me unravel a few differences between dating and hanging out, in hopes of making yolur life easier and satisfing for the ladies in your future. Now you can take it or leave it. It's all up to you.

•Asking someone if they’ll be at church next week is hanging out. Asking someone if they would like to go out with you is dating.

•Making up a reason to call, e-mail, or text someone is hanging out. Calling just because you want to talk, and telling the person so, is dating.

•Going to coffee is hanging out. Going to dinner is dating.

•Doing something with the object of your affection and seven other friends is hanging out. If the two of you do something alone, it’s dating.

•Hiding your feelings is hanging out. Telling someone you’re interested in pursuing a more serious relationship is dating.

The Purpose of Hanging
Go ahead and hang out with someone if you’re just getting to know him or her. By all means, don’t ask a person out just because you think he or she is cute but know nothing else about them. You might have nothing in common with the person. The music she loves might make you throw up. He might be a deranged serial killer. OK, he’s probably not a serial killer, but you get my point. It’s important to hang out before asking out. The problem is that many people never make this "leap of Faith". They hang out continually like a grandfathers clock slowly ticking, perpetually swinging back and forth, creating confusion and tension that could easily be dissipated by asking someone "Karen, We have been hanging out for awhile and I would love to make it official. Would you have dinner and a movie with me this Saturday night?" DUDE, that's a DATE !!!!!

Then I get the question, “How do you know when it’s time for a friendship to go further?” or “When should two people stop hanging out and start dating?” Figuring that out is the easy part. If you find the person attractive, you can’t stop thinking about him or her, and you’re unsatisfied with the close intimacy that friendship provides, then it’s time to ask out instead of hang out. The problem usually isn’t that people don’t know whether or not they want to date, it’s that they’re afraid the other person doesn’t feel the same way.

GET OVER BEING REJECTED.
This kind of fearful hem hawing isn’t how Christians should do things. This isn’t who God created us to be. I’m not saying that in defiance of some antiquated courtship rituals. I mean we shouldn’t be so stinking scared. We shouldn’t be afraid to date. Overcoming this fear involves two steps:

1.Get a life. Something needs to be more important to you than finding a boyfriend or girlfriend. You need a passion, something that excites you and gives your life meaning and purposful, LIKE JESUS. More on that in anoter blog. It should be something thrilling and at least a little daring at the same time. Not only will this give your life focus and keep you busy, it can build self-esteem. As you begin to move forward toward your goals, you’ll feel better about yourself. Have you ever noticed that a lot of people find love when they’re not looking very hard for it? It’s usually because they’re in the middle of a meaningful journey. And that just happens to make them more attractive. This part should be easy for Christians. We have something, or rather Someone, who’s eager to give our life a sense of mission, meaning, and value aka: Jesus.

2.Be authentic. At some point, someone decided it wasn’t cool to let someone know that you’re interested in him or her. I guess people think it makes you seem desperate. That can be the case sometimes, but it’s not true if you’ve taken care of Step 1 above. Being honest and bold about your feelings doesn’t come off as cheesy if you have self-confidence. It shows courage and self-esteem. It shows that getting rejected won’t devastate you because you know and like who you are. The alternative to this is “hanging out” with someone and hoping to catch a lucky break. That takes a lot more time and trouble to get what usually turns out to be the same result.

Take a look at 1st John 4:18 says that “perfect love drives out fear.” While it’s normal to be nervous when you ask someone out, God’s perfect love should cast out all fear that you’re unlovable, unworthy, and destined to be alone. You’re exploring the possibility of a relationship with one person. If it doesn’t work out, God’s love will take care of you far more than the love of any human on earth.

So guys, there you have it. Take it our leave it. That choice is yours. But to the guy who called asking for wise counsel, I continualy tell them seek God first in ALL THINGS. Then if you get no answer and you call me at 2am, I will smile and say
www.timcoats.blogspot.com and roll over and go zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

till next time,
peace I leave with you
tc
Romans 5:1

What do we do when you don't know what to do?

There aren't nice, neat, simple, pre-packaged answers for why certain things happen to certain people. Sometimes a close friend or someone like a minister or pastor can shed some light on a sitation. But when there is nothing more to say, where do we turn? Maybe it's when there is nothing more to say that God's silence is broken and God finally speaks.

Jesus lived with the utmost awareness that God is doing something, right here, right now, and anybody can be a part of it, if they will only say yes and believe. Jesus encouraged his followers and anyone who would slow down long enough to listen, to search, to question, to wrestle with all the implications of what he was saying and doing. Christ inspired, challenged, provoked, comforted, and invited people to be open to God's work in this world. Wherever Christ went, whatever Christ did, Christ started a simple dialogue about what matters most, because for HIM, God is always inviting us to open our eyes and join in.

I recently learned a former student has shifted from christianity to being an agnostic. It's kinda like a knife in your back. But, in wrestling with this situation, I have gained a peace and a new determined spirit through some simple prayers of asking "God why? ". A simple answer is all I got. The answer, " Pray".
So I continue to pray for this individual and for this situation to be handled by the Lord himself. Never give up. Never Give Up continues to echo in my brain. To continue to look for the answers to the hard questions and when we get worn out and exhausted, God is still there.

So my challenge is this: Join in the dialogue, Join in the discussion... search, question, and engage on what matters most and if you need help,I am always a phone call or a text away.

Till next time
peace I leave with you,
tc
Romans 5:1

I saw someone late yesterday afternoon whom I have known for a long time. Naturally He asked how I had been and the usual yada yada yada conversation. He then asked me what was so different about where I was attending church now. I briefly figured out that I was about to compare and I stopped. So I told him, "Here's what my current church is all about and you figure out and compare what the church you have in mind is all about and what they are doing to reach people for Christ and do the math."

Life Church IS A COMMUNITY OF BELIEVERS and absolutely LOVES in home small groups. It has no "Sunday School" that is what small groups are for. They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Acts 2:42

Life Church IS CALLED TO BE OUTWARDLY FOCUSED.
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…Matt 28:19

Life Churches MESSAGE NEVER CHANGES BUT OUR METHODS MUST CHANGE.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Heb 13:8

Life Church believes that TO REACH PEOPLE NO ONE IS REACHING, YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS NO ONE IS DOING. Little Life - Life Kids - Ignite (Student Ministry) have nearly doubled in recent months. Connect- Brand new never before New College/Career just cranked up and has over 20 students and young adults in it's first week. Young Adults, Married and Singles small groups just gearing up. Totally new worship Band that is incredible. Newly renovated high tech Sanctuary. Just last week alone had 4 micro-mission serve projects to serve the community. Sponsors multiple churches in Mexico all by it's self. Has yearly Single Mom's Banquet with over 100 single moms in attendance. Has widow projects bi-monthly. PLUS SO MUCH MORE. Got any questions?

After that He scratched his head and said, WoW, See you.


Just sayin'
tc

Sweet Sweet Voice

Sometimes in ministry, but always in student ministry, things just pop up. Even the most smallest of things like a simple ripple in a lake can cause a MAJOR tidelwave before it's conclusion. Once, you are in student ministry, you never seem to leave it. You do have periods
where things seem to be tranquil and then "stuff" just seems to happen. Like the hospitalization of a close uncle to a former student where the ill Uncle does not have a relationship with Christ, and the once quiet cell phone comes to life with a birage of text messages. "What do I do, What can I say, I've never had anyone close die before, This is sad", seem to flow like a river. That plus many other issues in students lives just seem to swell lately into a whirlwind of issues. So I start to wonder, why am I being contacted instead of their own youth pastor at the church they attend now. Am I the only name they have in their cell phone? I have wanted for YEARS, to ask that question. So this time I did that very thing, I asked them, why? The answer I got was not what I expected. So I guess you want to know what that answer was, right? Well their answer was, "You know everything". I stopped them and immediately corrected that answer. So then they gave me a humbling answer. The next reply was "Well, I see your point, but everytime I have ever contacted you TC, you were always there when I needed you and you have always, always given me the right answer, so that's why I keep calling you. My student pastor is good and all but sometimes He just doesn't understand me and you do and I know you care. I wish I could come to where you are now but my mom tells me we have to go to our church".

So I was kinda speechless for a bit and extremely humbled in the process.

Then comes the really unexpected situations that takes your breathe away and stops your heart and you are swept away into the dark night, (which is a completely other blog one day). So even with the best of our intentions and as hard as we try, sometimes Jesus is still the only absolute thing that there is. I say that because I prayed for a long time for one certain student last night and just when I least expected it, a clear message came thru. "Rest in me" WOW. I have received that before and I was quickly reminded of Jesus ' words of making our burdens light.

So with all that being said I am still trying to shift gears into a college/career only ministry. But, it ain't werkin' to good. How do some people just walk away and not be being available for God's students, come on now. All I know is that I am glad God is continuing to use me and not just throw me over in the ditch. God is good and I am still playing catch up.

till next time
peace
tc
Romans 5:1

Time to Jump FEET FIRST

Well, I purposely laid off the blog for a few months for several reasons, (which is another blog one day), but yet through the reasons behind my shifting gears, shifting churches and changing fields of ministry, God is fastly creating a whole new world of ministry for me. Presently, I have shifted from student ( 6-12 grade and college) to focus on creating a brand new ground level college/career ministry (20 Somethings they call it) at a smaller but highly alive non-denominational church. This particular church has seen radical change over the years but through these changes is emerging a new servant based, open to all, whoever you are type church. In fact, I wouldn't call it a church. It's more like the body of Christ that Jesus talks about. We all have different gifts that equips us to do some things better than other things, but when they all come together, it truly is an amazing and inspiring thing.

Just last week was VBS and I always volunteer to help and to see who is coming down the pipeline one day, but it's really a kick in the pants. Well, I wasn't given any certain daily thing to do, except share the gospel , which is the BIGGEST thing to do in my opinion. So, I dusted off a 2,000 year old man made costume and asked God for words to speak to children, which is one ministry I have NEVER had a desire to dive into. So I go in FET FIRST with No rehearsing, no outline, no bible, just me and the Lord. I still have no clue what I said basically, but 9 children, God's children, raised their tiny hands to show us that they want to KNOW JESUS more. My heart wanted to scream THANK YOU LORD. Later, that night I heard that another volunteer was talking to them and a total of 23 accepted Christ. Out of 77 kids , 23 accepted Christ, AWESOME.

But there is sooooo much more:

The student ministry has nearly doubled recently. What an incredible job the staff and volunteers are doing while caring and just lovin on God's students Long range planning is being discussed, worship services on Saturday are happening and being permanently scheduled. The worship team is getting it cranked back up. New people are coming on board and even a new ultra modern children-student facility is in the early planning stages. Mind Blowing.

While some traditional churches are slowly crumbling, newer emerging churches seem to be flourishing. Take for example Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge. Talk about a church on Spiritual Steroids, UnBeLiVeAbLe !! Church of the Highlands in Alabama and so many more.
God is at work and you can say what you want to but HE IS ON THE MOVE. All I can say is look around. God is so fully alive if we will only get of the super highway of life and stop and rest for a moment and look around.

As for me, a new ground level college/career ministry has been laid in my lap. My only instructions were, "DO IT". How directly effectve those small two words can be. So with that being said, "CONNECT" was born and last Sunday 9 college/career young adults attended our first fellowship gathering while some of the church staff came by to eat FREE FOOD and support our collective group of die hard believers. As others return from over seas missons and national collegiate weeks, I see the "son" slowly rising to meet us where we are in this new arm of this growing family of believers we call Life Church West Monroe.

But, best of all I have realised a few things. God is at work. God is at work in my life. God is using me simply because I said YES. God has a plan through every single minute of confusion that we experience when change happens. God is opening up new doors of opportunity to share who his son is and why he came. God uses us best when we have no one place to turn around and just say YES.

So where will all this change lead me, only the LORD GOD knows. But that's ok. I said YES and TC is not an INDIAN GIVER.

till next time
peace I leave with you

tc
Romans 5:1
tim@lifechurchconnect.com
www.lifechurchconnect.com
www.lifechurchwestmonroe.com